Word For It. . .

2Chronicles7:14-“If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.”

Funny…but True

Posted by wordforit on October 15, 2007

If Biblical Headlines

were written by

Today’s Liberal Media

On Red Sea crossing:

WETLANDS TRAMPLED IN LABOR STRIKE
Pursuing Environmentalists Killed


On David vs. Goliath:

HATE CRIME KILLS BELOVED CHAMPION
Psychologist Questions Influence of Rock


On Elijah on Mt. Carmel:

FIRE SENDS RELIGIOUS RIGHT EXTREMIST INTO FRENZY
400 Killed


On the birth of Christ:

HOTELS FULL, ANIMALS LEFT HOMELESS
Animal Rights Activists Enraged by Insensitive Couple


On feeding the 5,000:

PREACHER STEALS CHILD’S LUNCH
Disciples Mystified Over Behavior


On healing the 10 lepers:

LOCAL DOCTOR’S PRACTICE RUINED
“Faith Healer” Causes Bankruptcy


On healing of the Gadarene demoniac:

MADMAN’S FRIEND CAUSES STAMPEDE
Local Farmer’s Investment Lost


On raising Lazarus from the dead:

FUNDAMENTALIST PREACHER RAISES A STINK
Will Reading to be Delayed

*********************************************

REASONS NOT TO WASH

If you took the same excuses that people use for not going to church and apply them to other important areas of life you’d realize how inconsistent we can be in our logic.  For example: Reasons Not To Wash

1. I was forced to as a child.
2. People who make soap are only after your money.
3. I wash on special occasions like Christmas and Easter.
4. People who wash are hypocrites-they think they are cleaner than everyone else.
5. There are so many different kinds of soap, I can’t decide which one is best.
6. I used to wash, but it got boring so I stopped.
7. None of my friends wash.
8. The bathroom is never warm enough in the winter or cool enough in the summer.
9. I’ll start washing when I get older and dirtier.
10. I can’t spare the time.

*Thanks to Pastor Tim at Cybersalt.org!*

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6 Responses to “Funny…but True”

  1. timbob said

    Good morning. Thanks for the chuckles! The headlines are great and they portray a truth; that the media can distort things to a point of total absurdity.
    (Wetlands trampled during labor strike! LOL)

    have a blessed day in Jesus.

    timbob

  2. Daniel said

    Very funny Odale gave me a good laugh.

    God Bless

  3. Odale said

    Thank you so much, timbob and Daniel! This is another one of those posts that drew sarcasm and nastiness, so I really appreciate your encouragement. I don’t know about y’all, but I delete comments that detract from the kindness and Godly Spirit I hope others feel when they come here. If it had been a comment with substance, that would be different. Even if someone is not a believer, I would have thought it would cause a smile! God Bless and Keep You, and please, Keep Writing the Great Posts and keep me straight!

  4. timbob said

    Greetings. Thanks for stopping by. I left a response at the last comment. You found posts that I had forgotten about. Sometimes blogging is like a monitor of spiritual growth. We can go back, revisit that which was on our heart at an earlier time and see how things have unfolded since. This year has been one of growth and I give all glory to the Lord Jesus who is doing a mighty work in this family. Thanks again. Have a blessed day in Jesus.

    timbob

  5. marlajayne said

    These are great! I needed a chuckle or two at the end of the workday. My favorite is “Preacher Steals Child’s Lunch.”

    I read something pretty insightful this morning that your post about excuses made me think of. People, as you well know, can come up with lots of reasons why they fall short or sin or don’t go to church or whatever, and one of the most common reasons has to do with one’s environment. What I read this morning said that that’s no excuse. After all, Adam’s environment was about as perfect as one could be, and yet….

  6. […] If Biblical Headlines were written by today’s Liberal Media Something a little less serious for the end of the week. Actually, it’s not too far off…. H/t Timbob and Word For It. […]

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